International Women's Day in Afghanistan

One of things I remember most fondly of my time in Afghanistan was the celebration of International Women's Day in Ghanzi Province, Afghanistan. Here was several photos and a story I wrote during that time nearly 4 years ago.

Even though Army Pvt. Jeanne O’Brien couldn’t understand the language, customs, or culture of the hundreds of Afghan women surrounding her, she still had something in common with them.
O’Brien, a driver in the 2nd Battalion, 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82nd Airborne Division, had been asked to join a party of female Soldiers going to the city of Ghazni, to celebrate the women of Afghanistan’s accomplishments in education, politics, and public service since the birth of their new government five years ago after decades of repression.
“I might not have been able to understand what they were saying,” she said. “But I can understand their sense of pride and accomplishment, Change is a very scary thing, and learning how to stand up for yourself is terrifying.”
O’Brien has had to learn how to hold her head high and learn how to be proud of herself.
Born and raised in South Boston by a military family to fit the traditional woman’s role, O’Brien always wanted something else for herself, and resented being told how to live her life.
“Women were supposed to get married and have a family,” she said. “They could have a part time job, but their primary concern was to be home and family, dinner on the table, laundry done. There’s nothing wrong with that, if there’s a choice.”
Much to her family’s dismay, she chose to break the mold when she got a job at an early age.
“I had to work and become something I wanted to be, not what other people wanted,” she said, remembering how angry her family was at her decision to follow her own path.
Back at the celebration, O’Brien was sad to see that the women had to cover their faces before they went back outside, out of fear from enemies who might threaten them or their families.
“They can’t walk around in broad daylight with their heads held high, and be proud of what they are and what they have accomplished,” she said.
She knew what it meant to be afraid of other people, having spent many years fearing for her life.
O’Brien had gotten married to someone who turned out to be a very controlling person, telling her where she could go and who she could talk to. The effects of this relationship were disastrous, bringing her into the worst time of her life.
“I know what its like to live in fear,” she said. “At one point, I was living on the streets in New York City, without a home or a steady job.”
O’Brien struggled every day to find food, shelter, and safety on the unforgiving streets.
“When I hear about suicide bombers who walk into bazaars and blow themselves up, I think of those people [on the streets in New York] who thought it was funny to throw Molotov cocktails at people who lived in cardboard boxes. I learned very quickly who I could trust and who I couldn’t. I knew it was a possibility something bad could happen, but I couldn’t let myself think about it all the time. Fear was always there,” she said.
Even after eventually getting stabilized, O’Brien still had the drive to discover her purpose in life, which is difficult after living under other the control of others.
“When you live your life doing what other people expect of you, you never learn who you really are. You learn what makes you acceptable to everybody else,” she said.
O’Brien tried many things, being a waitress, driving trucks and taxis, selling books, blueprinting, and even home businesses. Most of the times, these jobs were just to pay the bills, especially after having a son. She knew that there had to be something better for her that would bring her fulfillment.
O’Brien’s world was shaken when she heard about two of her brothers and a cousin who were killed in Iraq. This was a catalyst for her to reconsider something familiar to her, military service. She joined the Army at the age of 35.
“If I can help just one person come home from over there, then they [her family members] didn’t die for nothing,” she said. “The choice I made to join the military has helped me learn how to hold my head up, and be proud of what I do. That’s pretty much brand new to me.”
As O’Brien left the women’s day event, she found a new strength for herself, just as the women there found her a source of inspiration for what they could accomplish as well.
“For the rest of my life I can think back on the women I met. I derive a sense of strength for myself, because these people have been through things I can’t even fathom, and they’ve had to fight and struggle every day for the simple things that we all take for granted.”
Pvt. Jeanne O’Brien realized she had much in common with the women of Afghanistan.
“Even though I couldn’t understand them or their language I have something in common with them: The spirit of ‘I don’t know how to quit and give up,’ she said.